October 25, 2021

It's been a challenging period – parents got very sick with covid and been in the hospital for more than a week now 😫

The mind just recently being bright and light, has descended into worry, anxiety, fear, brining with these feelings a lot of stress for the body.

My morning sits show me that joy, happiness and relaxation are still here with me, in my heart. They are like gentle little sprigs, trying to burst through the weight of negative thoughts and emotions.

Mindfulness is the best remedy – it allows me to see that negative recurring thoughts are real, but not true. Allows me to escape the dark cell of worry and fear and step out into the present.

What is my motivation, my inspiration for continuing the practice? End of suffering. It's not about some lofty goals like jhanas or enlightenment, though I am still on the path. I simply don't want to suffer that much of this emotional torment.

I recently read about wishing mad people to regain consciousness, just like you would wish water relief for a thirsty person. Aren't we all md and crazy to some extent? Reacting to life on autopilot? Not being present at all, just a mob maddened by suffering and trying to escape and avoid it, price doesn't matter.

All suffering comes indeed from the same cause – desire for things to be different, to control. There is no way out this way 😄

By living through the suffering, studying it in the moment can we see our compassion and kindness emerge.

May my mindfulness grow, may I have wisdom to see, and compassion to bear. May I remember that joy and light are here with me.