The Gratitude, just like true metta does not separate. You are grateful for all the causes, to all people.
How can we know if a cause is bad or good? Things are happening with no labels. Therefore Gratitude comes with acceptance for whatever happens.
Is there a specific order that wakes gratitude, acceptance, kindness, metta and equanimity? Or do they come together? What is an order? Sequential linear process? But nothing happens like that. I'm writing this journal and on the other side of the universe a star is born.
Happening is happening everywhere at the same time.
Can I control or direct an outcome? It's utterly futile. All I can do is set intentions and be mindful, trust life and allow things to happen. Without straining or forcing or striking too hard.
Like a falling leaf is gliding in an intricate dance, relinquishing all control, so do we learn to accept our lives. With this acceptance comes freedom to enjoy the process and don't fret too much about the outcomes.