Journey to the end of allowable cosmos

In very depth, in deafening trench
There lives a pure darkness.
It neither sleeps nor eats,
It burns within, eternal pit of sadness.

The life around it is gray,
Like distant limpy ocean.
Yet thirst for knowledge
Sends myself to poke unseen emotions.

This planet guards itself, you can't
Disturb millenia of slumber.
Like dragonfly, observing prey
It knows myself, I'm afraid, too well --
It never ever stumbles.

One touch, one glimpse, a shallow breath,
Just single blink of knowing:
The poison clouds are swift and thick --
I'm shrouded and bawling.

Yet every sound arrives still-born
In viscous cream of velvet,
Your senses melt in quiet pace.

"Fortissimo!"

"Allegro!"

Conductor once, I'm tied and cast
In golden brown ember.
Abundant fear Deimos casts
And Dread commands:

"Surrender!"

My light goes off.

It's off.

Again.

The chapter's blank.

I glimpse --

The pages turn!

The march goes on.

But I can't even dream.

Can't dream of thrilling new frontiers,
Can't dream of palettes or fresh sounds.
Can't sit or rest, can't be, can't taste.
I want to end this malice!

The battle has been fought and lost
Who knows how many times.
What if surrender is the key
To claw through dark confines?

Like obliuette that slowly rots
The soul in deadly horror,
The inescapable it seems
Is my wish to explore.

Things never last, not even suns,
They die in blazing light,
One day I will succeed, I know.
Alas, it's not tonight.